It's Time to Invite Others into Your Growth

It’s tempting to view your development as a leader as a solo journey you can embark on, achieve, and triumphantly walk away from, with the pride of having pulled up your proverbial bootstraps and done it all on your own. After all, we live in a society that praises individualism. That doesn’t make it right—and in the case of leadership growth, I’m going to advocate this month for the opposite: unabashedly inviting others into your development. 

Last month, we talked extensively about self awareness and blind spots. Unsurprisingly, these correlate directly with mentorship; you don’t know what you don’t know. And how do you find out? From others. Building trusted relationships with mentors who can offer candor, fill in blind spots, and hold you accountable is critical to your growth. You can read book after book, watch TED talks, dive into podcasts and even follow our action steps for becoming a self-aware leader—all valuable pieces of the growth puzzle—but until you’ve brought others into your circle, you’ll be missing holistic feedback, counsel and support. 

You may be thinking, “I’m surrounded by smart, successful people. I’m good.” It isgood to be surrounded by great peers, but it’s not the same as having a mentor. Part of what makes mentorships so effective is the intentionality of the relationship; both parties have consented, set boundaries, and committed to ongoing interaction with defined objectives. 

Seek out mentors of other gender identities, career paths, and life experiences. A mentor that looks and has lived just like you won’t fill in your blind spots. And, any one person won’t check all the boxes; it’s in your interest to be a mentee several times over.

It’s also essential to have chemistry with your mentor. If you can’t stand to have conversations about life, goals, hopes and fears, then the relationship won’t work. You don’t need to be best friends with your mentor, but you do need to understand each other as people. What are your personalities? Are you introverted or extroverted? What are your relationships with colleagues like? How do you manage time? All of these individual characteristics will help the mentor understand your perspective, and offer shifts when necessary.

And, if it wasn’t obvious, your mentor should not be your boss. There may be plenty your boss can offer in terms of career guidance, but they’re also directly invested in your retention. Your boss isn’t likely to tell when you’ve maxed out your potential in your organization and encourage you to move on; a mentor is able to offer a more neutral perspective.

According to First Round, there are many factors that make mentorships work—and work well. You need to have chemistry, ask thoughtful questions, isolate issues that are respectful of your mutual time, maintain transparency, and execute what you’re learning. Mentorships are transformative tools for professional development and can accelerate your career, but like all things worth doing, they aren’t easy. For the rest of August, we’ll be exploring different manifestations of mentorships and how they differ from coaching.