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5-minute reads about thoughtful, intentional leadership.

When Your Business Partner Is Someone Close To You

According to the Family Business Alliance, 80–90% of businesses in America are family-owned. This number includes companies ranging from the literal ‘mom & pop shop’ around the corner to Fortune 500 businesses like Walmart. It’s easy to see why it’s attractive to start a company with a family member or other person close to you—shared values, deep trust, and loyalty jump to mind. I’ve worked with a few of these types of businesses, and I’ve seen first hand that it can also be tough: blurred lines between personal and work life, a lack of outside influences and ideas, and the risk of work conflict impacting the personal dynamic or vice versa. 

So, how to reap the benefits of close relationships and minimize the difficulties? For those of you who read what I write or have worked with me, you won’t be surprised to hear me beating a familiar drum: clarity. Okay, two familiar drums: clarity and planning.

  • Are your roles at work clear? Many partners, especially married ones, think of themselves as interchangeable. That’s a nice thought, but getting clear agreements about who does what is not only a relationship saver—it’ll make your business run more smoothly. Things are less likely to slip through the proverbial cracks, and you are less likely to feel resentful about workload issues when you’ve established who is responsible for what.

  • Have you set clear boundaries about work time vs. personal time? I won’t preach here about knocking off work at 5:00 PM every day and taking weekends off. The key here isn’t what the boundaries are, but that there are boundaries.

  • How will you avoid the echo chamber? When two people are close, it often means they think alike, approach problems in the same way, and make similar decisions. In your business, this may be expedient, but it can also kill innovation and growth. Build a team of people around you who don’t share your common history or bloodline to hear different points of view.

  • Do you both agree on who has what authority? Some decisions may be made together, but most decisions should belong to one person. Come to an agreement about which decisions are joint and who makes the decisions that aren’t. Equally important: once you’ve reached an agreement, communicate it to the rest of the organization, so your employees know who to come to.

  • Do you have a plan in place to ensure you stick to these agreements? You’ll have your discussion, you’ll reach your agreements, but what will ensure you stick to them? People being, well, people, are bound to make mistakes. Overstep their boundaries. Drop the ball. It’s crucial to plan for discussions about how you’re doing as a team—even if you are a team of two. This is not a meeting about profits or costs or sales; it’s a meeting to discuss whether or not you are honoring your agreements and whether your agreements are still practical.

When I coach leadership teams, I guide them through the original conversation where they establish their agreements, codify those agreements in a Team Operational Plan, and then check in monthly for at least six months to see how the plan is holding up in the real world. Two things are generally true: the plan always needs to be tweaked, and the conversations are more weighty when there is a relationship outside of work. These things are not only normal; they actually have the potential to strengthen the primary relationship. Each time two people are able to identify a problem and respectfully work through it, they add to their trust in one another. This is true regardless of whether the relationship is purely business or also personal—the only difference is what’s at stake.